Late-Night Comics Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Scheme

Television's top hosts devoted their evening criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's just unveiled visa program, dubbed the "golden visa," characterizing it as a blatant pay-to-play scheme for the rich.

Colbert's Witty Spin

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic Christmas song about the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, then handing that list to the agents at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... spoils each thing he handles."

Colbert's target was the new plan that permits foreign citizens to buy U.S. residency for an investment of one million dollars, or "premium" tier for five million. An official portal guarantees processing "with unprecedented speed."

"One message for you to rich foreigners: before you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the scheme is also meant to "extract cash" from businesses wanting to hire foreign workers, with significant payments. "That is a lot of fees, though if you enroll, you additionally get two free nights at a property of your choice – provided that it's the that one hotel," he added.

"The most thorough vetting the government has before done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these people truly meet the standard to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Critique

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will let rich international individuals to live here," he explained. "For a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"Maybe it's time to update that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the simplicity of the form, noting it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Struggles

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's slipping poll ratings during economic worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term since they were angry about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a effort to tackle prices, Trump held a briefing in front of a selection of grocery items, where he reacted oddly to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a while."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by mocking right-leaning media defenses of Trump's financial record. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he remarked.